Sex and the City 2 opens on Friday. Just sayin'.

24: Day 8: Hour 11

See here's the problem with the modern television viewing experience. The whole DVR/Tivo thing. In the last five years we've all become familiar with the concept of "falling behind." Never used to happen. A show was on and you'd make plans to sit at home and watch it. "It's starting, it's starting!" you'd holler kitchenward for a straggler was still fixin' their supper. 7 o'clock, light off, everybody be quiet.

Maybe something came up and you couldn't make it. You'd set the timer on the VCR (a ritual I still have a fondness for) or if you were really desperate you'd throw in a six hour tape and hit record, knowing it would capture your show at some point. Then as soon as you'd get home you'd watch that tape, knowing that everyone would be talking about it tomorrow.

None of that happens anymore. Our shows have become devalued. It's all just too easy. I've got six episodes of 24 stacked up on the DVR now. "eh, I'll watch tomorrow" has become my mantra. You fall behind far enough, and suddenly there's no joy in it at all. I don't know about you, but I rarely think "Oh great, I have six episodes of _____ to watch!" I think "Oh. Great. I have six episodes of _____ to watch."

Anyway, that's my brief and poorly thought out little rant about television viewing habits. But I think it's an interesting discussion to have. I apologize for being so far behind on my 24 recaps, but maybe you're behind on your viewing too. It's the nature of the game now.

Besides, it's not like I'm getting paid for this.

The following takes place between 2am and 3am!

• In the recap of the last episode I really notice Cole's New York accent. It sounds so phony. Watching Lost last week I thought the same thing about the Keamy character. Seems like a New York type accent (of which there are like fifty varieties if we really want to get into accentology) is easy to do but I think that's why everyone thinks they can do it and then can't. Or maybe that's just what Freddie Prinze Jr. sounds like.


• Marcos is trying to set the bomb off manually, and has written the instructions on the wall of the panic room. What a dork.


• If I had blood on my face, it would bug me and I would spend the two seconds it would take to wipe it off.


• Huh, looks like my favorite character Owen and I differ in that regard.


• Owen is huffing and puffing like he just ran up the Washington Monument, and drops a heap of info on Jack, basically explaining that Marcos could still blow himself up.

• Speaking of accents (is that a pun?) Owen sounds totally British all of the sudden. I'd look up the actor but I worry it might spoil his fate. Someone do the work for me. Is he British or Australian or something?


• Chloe finds Marcos' Wikipedia entry and reads it aloud to everyone. In conclusion, he's a terrorist.

• Ah, they find out about his American mother. We'll be seeing more of Mare Whittingham yet.

• Also why am I so familiar with Mare Whittingham when I can't think of a single role I've seen her in?

• Chloe suggests that they shut down Manhattan to prevent the terrorists from reaching a high value target. Hastings counters, "No, letting them move the nuclear material is our best bet for catching them." But, shutting down the city is the best bet for them not blowing up the city. I guess this is why I don't work for CTU.


• Hastings notices something and seems displeased.


• Well well well, look who decided to show up.


• "All we have to do is act natural," says Cole. His idea of "natural" is "Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver."



• Hastings: "You two have Holy Hell to answer for." His idea of Holy Hell: sternly telling them to get back to work. Oh man watch out for this Hastings guy!


• Chloe is in charge of Dana's department now and the 24 Hero Theme Plays as Dana hands over the CTU iPad.

• The terrorists work on their plot. Sounds like they're going to shut down CTU's radiation sensors. These guys are good. Gotta shut down the city.

• Dana and Chloe talk ports and ethernets and servers and stuff. Dana is being smart-assy to Chloe though she has no right to be!

• Chloe gives Dana a little pep talk. This is nuts. After everything Chloe has done for this country they should all be bowing at her feet!


• Arlo, back to hitting creepily on Dana. Before the season is over I hope Cole gives him a knuckle sandwich.

• Owen is walking around and the terrorists are watching!

• I believe this is yet another example of CTU's utter failure to ever secure a perimeter. There are terrorists looking at you through binoculars right now! Argh!


• Bauer talks to Marcos. You blow up New York, President Taylor is going to destroy your nation.

• Marcos spits out the party line.

• Jack looks like the Wizard of Oz here.



• "Marcos, I can help you. All you need to do is open the door." Oh, also when you open the door, don't blow me up.

• Marcos is going to set off the bomb as we go to commercial. Say something about his mother!


• I can't convey this properly on the blog, but there is the weirdest soap opera music playing right now. It's nightmarish.


• Hassan and Mrs. Hassan, reunited. The Republic of Kamistan's version of Aerosmith has a song called "Love that is no more because it was ruined by affairs and delusional paranoia in an El-e-vay-tah!" That song would be so appropriate right now.

• She calls him out on his suspicion and paranoia. He has lost his way and he knows it.


• Cole goes to pick up Mrs. Marcos. Got there awfully quick.


• Cole tells her about Marcos little vestcapade. That's a hard thing for a mother to hear.

• DON'T WORRY! We're not finished with Dana's personal life or the Fake Leo storyline.

• A fella claiming to be from the Arkansas Department of Corrections calls trying to track down Fake Leo. Well the good news is he's played by Stephen Root, one of our finest character actors. And he's playing it completely nutso.



• He said he didn't expect to reach anyone at this hour, but then insists that they meet right now. That doesn't make sense. Dana should have told him to buzz off but instead agrees to meet. WTF DANA! Surely even the lowest ranking member of CTU can pull rank on a probation officer.


• Owen, sweatier than ever, still out of breath, but he's American again.

• Marcos cared enough about his mom to make sure she skipped town in time. That's should be all Jack needs to remedy this situation.


• Marcos goes all emo and flips out.


• Mare W. must be a good actor because I feel so bad for her character right now.


• Chloe notices that the hospital security feed has been tapped into. That's why Chloe needs to be in charge.

• Chloe shuts down the security feed. The terrorists are flying blind, but so is CTU.

• Aha, CTU not being able to watch allows Jack to do some Jack Stuff. Promises to personally escort Mare to the blast site to expose her to radiation to ensure a slow and agonizing death. This is scary stuff.


• You got him Jack. You got Marcos hooked. The terrorists still have binocular vision though. I worry Marcos will be sniped.

• They need bomb techs in to disarm the vest.


• Ever see the Hurt Locker? Now that's a good movie.

• Jack tries to disarm the bomb himself but it activates remotely.



• So, the writers of 24 saw the Hurt Locker too, since they decided to copy this scene straight out of it. Pretty blatant there fellas.


• Marcos gives up Taran, and says to tell his mother he's sorry. Jack shoves him into the panic room and he blows up. Kind of sad actually.



• Jack calls Hassan to tell him Taran is the big bad. Hassan shoots his wife a look that says "I told you so!" but it's a hollow victory really.



• Yes! Mrs. Hassan gets through to the daughter. Quit with the small talk, spit it out. Tell her Taran is the bad guy dammit. Daughter doesn't believe it. Teens are so impudent. Uh oh. Taran overheard. At least she gave up the location.

• Taran wants to split, Daughter tries to stall. Taran knows the score. You don't get to be a Presidential Chief of Security by not being able to spot a liar.

• Jack instructs the NYPD to round up Taran. Kind of a weird, abrupt ending here.

• Good episode! It was Renee light and Stephen Root heavy, and that's a-okay in my book.

24: Day 8: Hour 10

B: "So uh, want to watch a three week old 24?"
Mike: (my brother and viewing companion throughout the season): "Sure."

[I fire up an episode]

Mike: "Aw crap. I just realized we have to actually have to watch it now. It's not enough to just say 'sure' and have it done with."


So anyway. 24 yay!

• We open with a shot of the Kiefer Sutherland Building.


• My father doesn't trust you. He thinks you're involved in the conspiracy. Betcha he is.


• Cole tries desperately to revive Fake Leo, much as Freddie Prinze Jr. tries desperately to revive his career hi-yo!

• That was a cheap joke. I have no beef with FPjr at all. I just saw an opening and had to take it.

• President Taylor is getting short with Hastings. The time for pleasantries is over.

• Hastings asks to speak to Suit Guy alone, which leads to -

SURPRISE TWIST! Turns out Suit Guy's name is Mr. Weiss.


• Hastings tells Weiss that he's not getting a pony for Christmas and Weiss throws a little fit.


• Well, it's clear why they hired that actor to play Owen: his great "scared" face.




• A bunch of CTU guy's in body armor and equipped with state-of-the-art weapons? As good as dead.

• Let's check in with Farhad, see how he's doing.

• Yikes. Not good.


• Taylor gives Hassan the bad news. If the dirty bomb the bad guys are making goes off, she will have no choice to attack. Hassan pretends to be nervous, but knows that she might as well be threatening to attack Narnia.


• Tarin escapes, thanks to Hassan's daughter. Bad move. Or maybe he'll prove to me a Kamistanian Jack Bauer.

• Nah, something about that guy makes him seem untrustworthy...



• Well, Farhad gets shot a bunch of times, literally seconds before Jack and the gang show up.




• "Chloe, we've got Farhad and he's been hit! I need those files!" Ambulance, Jack. You don't need files, you need an ambulance.

• Of course the terrorists have escaped. Someone should teach CTU about the strategic advantages of setting up a perimeter. "Okay, we'll get ten cars and fifty guys and hit 'em from the font!" "What if they try to sneak out the back?" "Naaaaaah they won't sneak out the back let's go!"

• President Taylor is meeting with three giant heads. Not clear who they are but Wild Bill Guarnare has some bad news about casualties.


• Weiss: "Obviously a city-wide evacuation is out of the question." Well why the **** not?! You'd rather risk everyone in Manhattan killed than create a panic? I'm so sick of "not creating a panic" being the prime concern of any administration.

• Over and out for the three guys. So it took three guys to pretty much say the exact same thing: that a nuclear attack in Manhattan would be very bad.

• Let's take a moment to enjoy the most perfect hair the world has ever seen.



• Notice the fake backdrop behind Hassan. Every light in that building is on. At 1:30 in the morning. Al Gore is rolling over in his grave.

• Farhad didn't make it, but Jack has an idea: leak to the press that he survived and is at a local hospital, to lure out the terrorists. I'd like to take a moment to remember happier times with Farhad, aka Longhair Todd.




• Cole and Dana do the honorable thing and try to sink the bodies into a swamp. At this point I'd rather watch Arlo sit quietly at his workstation than this stuff.

• Jack instructs the CTU guys to keep Farhad "looking alive" while they transport his body to the hospital. Weekend at Bernie's antics ensue.

• Jack asks Owen is he's okay. This is one of the best scenes I've ever seen in this show. Owen nods affirmatively, his eyes wide, his mouth agape, and his head vibrating from nervousness.


• Jack says "I know you and your team don't have a lot of training or experience." What the earth? Does anyone in this organization have training or experience? If so, maybe they should have sent THOSE guys instead of Owen? Does CTU recruit through Craigslist ads? If Cole Ortiz would normally lead this operation, shouldn't he have an equally competent second? Or is the choice only Cole vs. Some Dude? Hastings has altogether too much confidence in Cole I think. "Uh sir, the guys are asking when they're getting weapons training. What should I tell them?" "Tell them to take five because we've got Cole Ortiz."

• Taylor and Hassan have a warm goodbye, as Hassan has decided to go back home.

• Jack, if you want to fool people into thinking he's alive, stop shouting the phase "Farhad's body" all over the place.

• Facial recognition software. I know a little bit about computers, and it seems terribly inefficient to display fully rendered photo of every human on earth who doesn't match.


• Jack strongly implies, for the fourth episode in a row, that he wants to nail Renee. Maybe he should come out and say it in case she doesn't get his repeated "I want to be there for you. Be there. For YOU."

• This guy has a bomb vest and a detonator. Chloe is using detonator matching software (for real) to try to remotely disarm the bomb.

• Owen! He's dripping with sweat! His voice is cracking! OWEN is my favorite character on this show, ever.


• "I p-p-picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue!"

• Owen comes face-to-face with Maros, our suicide bomber. This is the most important moment of Owen's life.


• Okay, I'm excited about this show again thanks to Owen.

• I am so tense right now. I'm worried that Owen is going to die a noble death instead of going on to become the hero of the series.

• Owen brilliantly tricks this guy Marcos into revealing his bomb, which allows Chloe to use bomb recognition software. It's disarmed!


• Owen swiftly apprehend's Marcos. Just kidding he hits the floor.


• Marcos tries to detonate the bomb, but fails! Owen cries! Marcos shoots Farhad's body 'til his gun goes "click."


• Owen decides to take down Marcos, and gets a mouthful of gunmetal for his efforts. Back to the floor for you, Owen.



• Jack bursts in and tells Marcos to put the gun down. He says "It's alright, it's alright" ostensibly to Marcos, but really he's saying that to Owen, who runs out of the room vomiting.

• Marcos is a fascinating villain, because he's the bad guys' answer to Owen. I can't wait for the stories yet to be told. They'll go down in history. Sherlock Holmes and Moriarty, Superman and Lex Luthor, Owen and Marcos.


• Marcos jumps through the glass, down several stories, then gets up and runs...


• ... back into the hospital to seek medical attention!


• Jack jumps after him and radios to "set up a C-shaped perimeter!"


• What is this? Why does this hospital have a panic room?


• Marcos calls his buddies, who tell him to set off the bomb manually. So the bad guys' training is as good as CTU's. Shouldn't they have told him that manual bomb trick before sending him on that important mission?

• Marcos is locked in, but Jack is able to track him down on Chat Roulette.

• But before Jack can type "hey u give it up u r a looser" Marcos nexts him and Jack is forced to look at a guy playing with his weiner.