Kiefer Sutherland Roped into Alleged Cattle Scam
Oh boy is that guy gonna regret it.
Viewer mail! Bonnie M. aka DammitJanet writes:
"Evil Dracula Man is Percy Weyutmowah from "The Green Mile" That's how you know he's bad...he squashed Mr. Jingles!!!"
Gasp! The Green Mile is a great book and Percy Wetmore is one of my most hated fictional characters ever. I hated that guy.
I wonder if anyone else on the show has any connection to Tom Hanks? (wink)
Matsby points out that this guy was also the stretchy guy Tooms from a couple of classic episodes of X-Files, and my own research has led me to the conclusion that he plays Dharma Initiative hippie Horace Godspeed on Lost. Fascinating!
Alright, on to episode 3.
• Well uh, I've already forgotten what's happened. Oh yeah, a helicopter blew up.
• The recap tells me that Evil Dracula Man's name is Davros. So he's Greek? Is this a sign that I should go get a Gyro? I think it is brb.
• Does Davros's presence here mean that this plot might be tied in to the Baltimore drug trade?
• Suit Guy's confidence is starting to sound like desperation. He's like the kid in grade school that wants to be liked for his hard work. Nobody likes a hard worker.
• What we have here....
• ... is 327 straight seconds of nothing but computer jargon nonsense. I think they're actually speaking in zeroes and ones.
• Davros says "I'm just doing my job." We've all heard that before, haven't we, bank executives?
• Jack is frustrated with Chloe because all she was able to do was get him to the intersection where Davros is hiding using only one tiny scrap of information.
• "Gangsters" from the "Hood" put Jack through a quick session of Scared Straight.
• Weird moment. Very cliched. Lazy writing. Possibly racist?
JACK BAUER WEAPON COUNT #4! Oh. Just a regular old gun.
• Davros has killed his cop buddy and wife and made his escape. Meanwhile Jack is creeping around a dead cop's house with a gun. This will go over well.
• Waitaminute I know this cop...
• Herc! Dammit Herc you mess up everything you do. And you couldn't catch a Greek to save your life. #thewire
• Almost Leonardo goes to visit Dana Walsh. I would have thought CTU would be hidden or at least have a, you know, secure parking lot.
• Almost Leonardo: "How'd you pull this off, what'd you use a dead girl's birth certificate?
• Aha! So Dana Walsh pulled a Dick "Don Draper" Whitman, who himself pulled an Armin Tamzarian.
• I haven't mentioned the scenes of Hastings interrogating Reed because nothing is really happening. If events occur in real time, it means that when the audience isn't watching the interrogation it's nothing more than Hastings going "Come on! Tell me! Come on!"
• Reed hints at the affair with Evil Regis.
• Herc is giving Jack a taste of his own medicine with some basement torture.
• 626pm and it's slightly dim outside. That means in the next scene the sky will be pitch black. There are no sunsets in the 24verse.
• Davros has infiltrated the NYPD and is part of the detail being briefed by Cole Ortiz.
• Politics! Something something peace process. I'm gonna go ahead and admit that I'm not paying attention.
• I will now refer to Evil Regis by his real name, Omar Hassan. I still haven't learned Longhair Todd's name though. Hassan is going to have lie about banging the blonde reporter. Tense! Oh he told the truth. Awkward.
• Beat Up Jack Bauer looks like Regular Kiefer Sutherland.
• Herc, you made the oldest mistake in the book. You tied Jack Bauer to a breakable chair.
• Arlo is trying to convince Dana to dump her fiance Cole for him. Do people really do that? Movie people do it all the time.
• Uh-oh, there's a bomb at the UN. But evacuating the UN that's just what they want!
• Jack is whisper-yelling! It's all happening!
• Jack tells the security detail that it's a trap and Cole Ortiz actually listens! He must have Netflixed earlier seasons of the show. In a desperate move Cole crashes his car into Hassan's limo, thwarting the assassination attempt, but are either of them alive? Whaaaaaaaa!